China

On December 22, 2017 our little family of 5 plus a very brave gran boarded a plane bound for Beijing China. With very little sleep had by any of the 6 travelers we landed in Beijing and settled down for a 6 hour layover before boarding another plane to our final destination of Hefei City China. Aimee Grace, 5 years old at the time, had been unable to sleep on the plane because she “wasn’t tired.” (Although 5 hours into the flight she wanted to “go back home.”) Once we hit the airport in Beijing she fell asleep immediately as did everyone else….lying in chairs and on laps. 

We were so exhausted when we finally checked into our hotel in Hefei at midnight a day and half after our departure from Knoxville.  I had never seen redder eyes on a child than Aimee's eyes were. But we had made it! We had a lovely day to rest and play…even going for a swim before we realized that they were heating the pool with an electric space heater plugged into the pool through an outlet in the deep end. 

With another good night of sleep we woke up Monday morning Dec. 25th beyond excited to go meet our new son. Kaitlyn didn’t seem herself at breakfast that morning…no appetite, very tired. I finally took her back to our room where she threw up all of her last day’s meals onto the floor outside of the elevator. Back in the room she continued to throw up, but as disappointed as she was, she was remarkably strong and brave about being left behind with Gran while the rest of us went to meet our Gabriel (Shun Shun as he was then called).  

We were fully prepared for him to be sad/upset/scared when they brought him to us at the government office, and he was all of these things. He was very scared, understood that he was supposed to go with us, but wasn’t at all excited to do so. Thanks so Spencer’s iPhone however, we got him in the van with us where we even got him to dance a little bit to “What does the fox say.” We were embarking on a crazy and scary adventure of getting to know and love a child who had lived in an orphanage for 3 years. A child whose past we would never fully know or understand. Who had experienced things apart from us that we would never know about. This brave little 3 year old entered into a whole new world all by himself with all the grit and determination he could muster. 

He hit our hotel room like a hurricane, pressing every button he could possibly get his fingers on. Stimulation beyond his wildest dreams awaited him and he both loved and hated it. He loved Andrew, Kaitlyn, and Aimee from the moment he met them. They were life savers for us there because they made everything fun for him. His curiosity was astounding and his ability to figure things out was amazing. His spoken chinese wasn’t very good, but he could understand most of what I said to him in Chinese. He started calling us mama and baba immediately. 

Unfortunately the little runny nose he had when we picked him up quickly turned into something much worse. Since there was no western medicine easily accessible in Hefei we decided to wait until we reached GuangZhou 5 days later to take him to the doctor. By the time we got to GZ, his breathing was awful and his fever very high. We took him to urgent care in the middle of the night. I will ever be able to express our gratitude for Jill’s willingness to make this trip with us. The stress of what it could have been almost brings me to tears. But because she was there we were able to move Andrew to her room with the girls and Spencer could come with me to the hospital. After 3 breathing treatments they sent us home with lots of medicine, but 3 days later we were back because his cough wasn’t any better. After a chest x-ray that showed bronchitis we started antibiotics and things started to improve. During all of this time we completed all of the official paperwork and document signing, toured GuangZhou and played with other newly adoptive families. Gabe and I missed most of the adventures but I was again so thankful for Jill who was always up for anything and went with Spencer and the other 3 so that they could  experience China. 

And then the trip home happened...What was supposed to be a 29 hour trip turned into 60 hour trip and scarred us all! We've never been so happy to get home from anything. We left GuangZhou on time, everyone slept, spirits were high, we watched the world map on the plane screen and got closer and closer to New York, and then about an hour from landing, the captain came on the intercom and announced that due to weather JFK was closed and we would be redirected to Toronto. Even at that point it seemed hopeful that the layover would be quick and painless and that we would make it back to JFK in plenty of time to catch our next flight to ATL. When we got to Toronto they made everyone get off the plane because it was going to be more than a couple of hours. The said we'd be back on the plane in 4 hours to leave. The plane stopped miles from the airport because this was a "curtesy" landing and they could only give us what was available. Then, they made everyone get off the plane into the outside (-5 degrees without the windchill) and onto a bus. Since we were coming from 70 degree GuangZhou weather no-one had coats with them. The kids and the elderly were all made to exit the plane and it was awful. Then we drove on the freezing, crowded airport bus for 10 minutes back to the airport where we were ushered into a small, super hot room with about 40  seats for 300 people. And there we waited for 12 hours. Yes, you read that right, 12 hours. On little sleep with 4 young kids.  

 They offered us muffins and apple juice as a curtesy :-) The worst thing was that throughout that 12 hours they kept telling us that we'd be boarding momentarily. People were furious. They finally told us that this was all a favor to us and they'd get us out of there whenever it was convenient to them. When we called Delta to get our flight out of NY changed they told us the first available was 3 days later. We decided that we'd just have to deal with that whenever we actually made it to NY. Finally, 12 hours later, they sent us on our way. We got to NY around 10pm on no sleep for days at this point. The kids were a basket case. Aimee was wailing so loudly that they ushered us to the front of every line trying to get our of customs and the airport.

(Then Jill left her phone on the plane but that's another story :-) We finally got our luggage and made it out of the airport. Spencer left us and went to go get a van. By the time he got back it was midnight. We exited in -30 degree windchill weather, snow, and ice. Got everyone in the van, and wept for joy. We were leaving NY, the kids could sleep and, and Spencer and I pinched ourselves all the way into PA to stay awake, where we finally stopped at a hotel and crashed for 6 hours. We woke up Sat.morning in high spirits. We had slept a little, we could get in a van and drive home at our own pace with no layovers or long lines. Home was coming soon.  

Gabe weathered sickness and major transition fairly well though we definitely got a taste of his stubborness…a trait that served him well in his first 3 years and we continue to work through today, 5 months later.  Aimee also got terribly sick on night with vomitting and diareah.  In fact, it was so traumatizing for her that it caused some major issues for months afterwards. Finally in a moment of desperation the Spirit revealed to me what the cause of the fear was and we were able to talk through everything really well.  I was so consumed myself through some of that time about other things that I didn’t realize what a huge deal that awful night was for her.  I am in awe now, though, what re-telling a story does for kids. Especially retelling it in such a way that stresses how they were safe and taken care of through everything. Again, thank goodness for Gran’s presence with her that night.  

When our kids are asked about China now they rave about the amazing hotel breakfasts and the safari park and the fish in the pond. They've all asked to go back which seems remarkable to us, but we are thankful they left with such good memories. One day we will return, but now until Gabe's at least 10...no more international trips with little ones for us!

For reasons unknown except as answers to prayer, Gabe seemed to know from the beginning that we were his family and he bonded quickly to us. These last several months have definitely had major challenges for all 6 of us as we have walked through the reality of major life transition and adjustments, but we are good and the hardship of it all is good. It has drawn all of us into deeper places with God and each other and we are grateful for the chance to walk this broken road with Gabe and with one another. Sometimes I’ve been horrified at how I’ve handled all of it and then at other times I’ve been overwhelmed with gratitude for the grace we’ve seen and lived through. Gabe is super smart, curious, and active. He loves to play, loves to wrestle, loves to talk and laugh and sing. He’s learning English and can daily communicate better with us. He loves his family, his friends, his church, and this new world he’s been brought into. Sometimes he gets super frustrated and yells and screams and pitches big fits, but he recovers and moves on, as do most 3 year olds. I’m currently reading “The Broken Way” by Ann Voskamp and in it she says, “It’s in shattered places, with broken people, we are most near the broken heart of Christ.” I know this is true…in my own brokenness, in Gabe’s, and in the world around us. He is drawing us to our knees in new ways and with new brokenness in our own hearts and minds. My heart and my mind has failed me many times in the last 6 months, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Here’s to the next 6 months! We face it with gratefulness that we’re this far in and hope for what greater settledness will bring to us.