living downtown

We live about 5 minutes east of downtown Knoxville in what can be called an "inner city" neighborhood. We choose this neighborhood on purpose, after much prayer and soul searching, because we desire to live and raise our family in a place where we can be a light in the darkness of much suffering and fear, a place where we will be greatly challenged in our perspectives, habits, and lifestyle, and we believe that God calls Christians to enter into the lives of the poor rather than back away from them. The reality of poverty and broken families is harsh and relentless. It is hard to fight off despair as we understand more and more about our neighbors’ lives and the road the future holds for them. Cycles of poverty, drugs, fatherless homes, unemployment, abuse, and hopelessness seem so overwhelming and crushing at times that I want to run away and pretend that I don't know and live a life in the suburbs where I don't have to remember or do anything about it. (I'm not in any way saying that you can't be involved with the poor if you live in the suburbs!). But I don't really want to do that. My deepest desire is to be where God has called and placed us and to see redemption worked out in my own life and in the lives of those we live around.

On many days I am overcome by thankfulness that God has allowed us to be here and to be a part of what we get to be a part of. That we get to be the hands that offer cups of cold water to thirsty kids (as well as peanut butter sandwiches, granola bars, and popcicles). That we get to be a voice of love and encouragement to these same kids and a safe place for them to come after school or on the weekends. I am so thankful that our kids are getting to know these people and to experience them around our table for meals. But their stories haunt me as we send them home, especially as I learn more about what waits for them there. I understand that as a family with 3 very small children there is not much else we can do, and I am thankful that we live in a place where at least we can give them a sandwich and ask them about their day, and I am so thankful that we live around other people who are doing the same thing. Our community is strong here.


There are times though when we begin to understand that God might ask us to give/do more than we think we have the energy or strength for. That we will be inconvenienced in the way we are called to serve. Those are times when I see my own selfishness come creeping up, stealing my joy and thankfulness and when I can so easily give in to despair because how can anything we do begin to change the gaping societal holes we see all around us. The system is broken, the schools are broken, families are broken and I so often do not see a way to even begin to fix them. But God is not calling us to that great task. He is asking us to be obedient in love to the next small step He puts before us.

Right now that next step is to love an unwed, pregnant, unemployed, and very isolated mother. We don't know what that looks like. And that's where we ask for prayers for wisdom and grace. We can't turn our back and we can't fix the situation, but we can still love her...the question is how? Please pray with us