Life at UNC

It's been some time since I (Spencer) last blogged. Emily's gotten a lot more pregnant, we've settled into life here in CH, and I've commenced studying Accounting, Managerial Economics, Finance, and Stats. I've really loved the classes and profs. We've gotten to know many of the other students here at the business school - there were 60 for the first summer session and are 160 now for the second summer session. We'll crank up with 280ish in August.
We had a tremendous time to reflect last week - we stayed at the beach from Sunday to Saturday (Emily's parents house). Her folks and mine came over on Thurs and we had some good time together. I can't remember the last time that we spent such an extended time of rest. I had a chance to journal much and sensed that the Lord continues to call me to find my identity solely in Christ and not in achievement, impact, or other possible bench-marks. All in all, we just felt our stress level come down about eight notches. We've been pretty high-strung most of the spring and the first month here in CH was no different. This week has been different and refreshing. I failed my driver's license test on Monday and was not upset (though the test was a bit ridiculous). I went to get the car registered and the sheer inefficiency of the system would have really frustrated me in the past (spent two hours getting everything together and then being rejected on a technicality), but it didn't affect me much. The weight of trying to get things right and done efficiently is still a struggle at times, but the rest that we got from the week off was a huge benefit for us.
I'm in the midst of taking a battery of different tests to identify talents and understand my gifts. I appreciate these tests and find that I learn something new about myself with each one. All in all, though, I find that they can never provide that ultimate sense of meaning. Maximizing one's work experience by identifying core talents and desires offers significant potential for impact, but if the ultimate question of "who started this whole thing and for what purpose?" is not addressed, seeing my talents and gifts provides only a small slice of reality necessary for making decisions. To be certain, I don't advocate going out and throwing oneself at problems, but our talents should always be subject to the Lord's call on our lives. Only after Moses had been in the house of Egypt for 40 yrs. and in the desert as a shepherd for 40 yrs. was he prepared to lead the people of Israel. He thought that he was ready at 40, but he wasn't. One could profile Noah, David, Jesus, and Peter and find similar results that the most important paradigm for viewing one's life is through that of obedience rather than that of maximization. One might posit that long-term maximization is a helpful paradigm for decision-making, but again this falls short. Noah would not have chosen ark-building, Peter would not have chosen church leadership, Mother Teresa would not have chosen starting her movement toward the poor around the world. In the short term, David would not have chosen to be pursued by Saul for years, but that dependence on God prepared him to be king. Moses certainly would not have chosen his path, and if Jesus was looking to "maximize" his impact given his gifts, management gurus would be entirely unsatisfied by his initial return on talents (11 uncouth men who scattered at his death). There is often overlap in obedience and maximization of one' talents - I would not deny that. But the underlying principle is important, and obedience has to win out in times of conflict if we are to experience the fullness of God and if we are to fulfill the kingdom impact that God desires to render from our lives.